Rusper - The Star

Tuesday 23 October

Slip-Sliding Awaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay

Walkers:  Farty, T.B. - safely returned from their travels. 2 Legs, Windy, Lil and Clat.
Sue has gone to the chopper shop, Mrs P is buying linen for her erection - we forgot to mention that she has a lovely new thatch in S.A., which 'although is virginal and blonde at the moment, will sadly go black with age, as the bugs fall out.'  We have a lot to look forward to - she must resist trying to scratch it. Sally was coming for lunch, but due to her great nephew being poorly, could not make it - God speed and all our best wishes to you and yours, Sally.

Find of the Walk: masses and masses of  thick and sticky mud
Distance: 7 miles - which took over 3 hours today, due to above.

We gathered on a dank, miserable and foggy day - we are such gluttons for punishment, however, due to good time-keeping, we were booted and off before 1030 - well done.  Farty was sporting her new Berghaus rucsack - a fantastic bargain at £1, and came complete with a silver cover, which made it look like a fully-inflated smokehood reminiscent of our flying days.  So, SEP complete, we set off, following the smokehood.
The Sussex Border Path today, and although we were in many woods, the paths were deep and thick with mud, which made walking heavy-going, and treacherous.  The stiles and footbridges particularly, were mega slippery and great care was taken with them.  Horsegills Wood first, a few farms later, and then we crossed the A24.  After the break (as they say on the Beeb), we found ourselves in a field with two very frisky horses.  Reluctant to carry on, but no other way round, T.B. very bravely 'tested the water', and found it to be quite safe - but once again, we didn't half speed up here. We also found a llamas but  they were safely fenced-in - wonder if they'd prefer Peru?

The stiles were getting worse - Windy managed to graze her inside leg* and had quite a swelling* later on, and those with longer legs, took to straddling these wooden creations, resulting in mossy gussets.  Windy warned us that algae might creep in - but it was none of his business - tee hee.
The dreaded cowage then presented itself, and us cow-oooerds decided to deviate into another field.  All was going well until Lil was felled by a felled tree.  She was downed in a trice, with her legs wrapped-round the trunk - but the ground was spongy and accommodating - like someone I used to know - but I digress, and after a quick bout of laughter, we resumed.

By now the going was getting heavy, and the skies gave us constant misty drizzle, so it was heads down and homeward. However we did come across some huge fungi, gorgeous rosehips, and pretty cobweb formations in the grass - ahhh. - that's all you get in the waxing lyrical dept.
Finally we were back - trench foot and wet feet all round, which for Wind, had to remain that way, cos she forgot her shoes.   We entered  the Star, which was packed today.  Lunch finishes at 230 so we made it with 15mins to spare.  Good food , good service, and good heavens - is that the time?

Next week - outfits to the fore and we shall assemble at Tandridge to spook our way round the route.  I shall practice my screaming - T.B., I know what you would prefer - heh heh heh heh heh

Monferran-Plavès, S W France

Allez vous...

We were only in France for 6 days, but we thought a few pictures of our trip might give you a bit of a flavour:
 2 of Jane & Rob's 3 cats ( Biff and Bella) were considerably underwhelmed to meet us! Later on we didn't inspire any more action either. However, Biff did come walking with us.

The local supermarket seemed very accommodating until we looked a bit closer. Everything still closes for a 2-hour lunch break including the supermarket


Dogs didn't fare very well in the 'lav' stakes being forbidden to 'dejection' in a lot of places.

 The following are photos in no particular order showing some of the local very small town and the rest of the estate

Nearest hamlet-a church and a few houses

Nuthurst - The Black Horse

Tuesday 16th October

.......'Cos I Have No Gaiters To Put On -
So off Trisha went to her car- boot chest
And got Wind some gaiters of the very very best
She got her some gaiters of the very very best
And she duly put them on'..................etc.

Walkers:  4 Legs, Windy,  Mrs P.  - welcome back you fine rare species.  She is pleased to report her erection is fully upright - and firm, although her bush is rather green and needs attention - perhaps some penicillin would help? ,  Lil and Clat.
Minnie is home with Mum who is out of hospital and recuperating - get well soon. 
  Mdme La Vent and Msr Le Bloke sont dans la belle France and return today- but ,my leeeetle cheesecakes, too late for our walk.

The French trip has been a breakthrough for them, cos, as you will see, with technical guidance from Jane's bloke, Rob., the website pic has been reduced (no more  lines and wrinkles to behold), and even though some of us are not ex-flyers, the name has remained. eh voila
Find of the walk: - our way round
Distance;  7 miles
A beautiful day - lots of sunshine, blue bleu skies, and a fresh breeze to blow away the cobwebs.  This pub kindly requests that you 'phone before you turn up, to check that it's ok to park there.  This was duly done, we booted , and off we went.  It wasn't long before a realisation took place - we were out of line with the map.  However, thanks to Sue and Chris' observations, the signpost was spotted and normal service resumed.   Lil was our photographer today, and we hope you enjoy her work, although she has discovered some mistiness on her lens - never mind.

We ventured southerly, through Boyds Wood, plus some stylish stile-ing by Windy, and eventually to a long line of poplars.  We've been on this track before, so had to repeat the line-up and perform a bit of tree-age, and a pat on the head to a very friendly Shetland job before reaching the lane, and another inviting footpath.  Our first break was near Northfield Farm and Mrs P produced the most gorgeous flapjacks, courtesy, not of her Aga, but Le Patisserie - yum yum and merci beaucoup.  Refreshed, we carried on - lots of muddiness and squelching, with Chris doing a spectacular above -the -ankle job (but she had long boots on today), and an arrival at the Downs Link Way - which the absent Mme La Vent does not aime very much, due to it being an old railway line.

Not long later we were off it and heading northwards and a few hills and yet more farms.  At Steeds Corner, a convoy of 'older' bikers sped past and later on, as we got back to the pub, we met them again, just leaving, and Chris got straight in there to get details.  A group of 'older' gents who like to straddle their hot throbbing* machines and 'do' the countryside.  This was their second pub stop, so a bit of wheel-wobble might be the outcome from this.  Our Chris went very quiet further along though, as she spotted a bit of cowage at the very end of the field we were walking in.  Heads down, and determined to not do a fence-vault, we were safely out of 'danger' .  Well done everybody but the pace didn't half speed up.
 We arrived at a very smart place - Eliotts Farm, and a magnificent house, which looked as if it had had a modern tarting-up.  Opinion was divided as to whether it belonged to Peter Andre, or Katie Price.  Plenty of horsey stuff around, so it was quite possible.  Here, was another sticking point on the map, but we decided, with the use of the compass, that direction was key, so we keyed-in north east and eventually got to our starting point. 

The pub is small and very old - low ceilings, timbers, log fires, and a copy of 50 Shades nestling on the mantelpiece - purrrrrfect.  Our 'host' was welcoming and friendly - however the menu is somewhat limited.  Either you have to begat a baguette - which was choc-full with stuff, and came with a decent portion of chips and salad, or down a main meal , so , no jacket spuds or something similar on offer.   We enjoyed it all , though, and even grabbed a Christmas menu - booking would be a must here.  Conversation was quite varied 'at table' as Lil told us that snakes only needed a little hole, and Sue replied that a small crack would be preferable - see what a pint of lime squash does to us?  

Sated  and inflated, we parted company and are looking forward to next week, and maybe a full-house , plus a visit from Sally?  Methinks it could be Rusper but you never know.  However, 30th is probably going to be Tandridge cos of Halloween - I do hope your costumes are coming along nicely.

Adieu xxxxx

Warnham - The Sussex Oak

Tuesday 9 October

(So Darling) Save the Last Pie For Me       - kindly suggested by T.B.

Walkers:  Farty, T.B., Windy, Clat, and, 8 LEGS! Yes folks Minnie is back - however some of this is due to, unfortunately, Mum having had a stroke and is in hospital.  She is doing well, and we all wish her love and good things for her speedy recovery.  Lil is getting ready for her trip to Nice - nice, and I have a nice niece. Sally is walking to Vancouver, which is a lot further than our walk today.
T.B. has been working hard on getting RAHRAS 2 up and running, so well done and thank you.  There are a few teething issues to be sorted, but any comments are useful - he says.

Find of the Walk: an albino hedgehog - well, it could have been
Distance: 7 1/2 miles
Very grey  and rainy skies today, and we did feel the odd spot or two - not with the acne but with the weather.  Farty's beloved Capri was stolen last Tuesday evening, right underneath her nose, and thanks to T.B. and his car chase, it was found not far away, abandoned, and she drove it home with her gloves on, to help the police with their dabs search. Apparently, her car is worth more in pieces than whole, (she has valuable parts),  but the steering wheel lock now in place, should help with future potential nickings.   Then her kettle packed up.  Clat's shower knob * came off in her hand, so she is now awaiting a plumbing job.   However, Chris is finally back on broadband - since August 24 and AOL in India kindly informed her it was the tree's fault.   Time to move off.

Farty had devised a new shape on the map and shortly after a familiar path, we veered off to the right - new territory - woo hooo. Benland Wood and then on to Northlands Road, where we found a tall turreted building,  like something from My Little Pony, and a woman with a My Little Ponytail, busy with her bushes*.  Dawes Farm and Monks Farm - plenty of equestrian stuff going on here with veterinary (Steve, your big moment) practices, and polo businesses.  Farty found a dead shrew, and then a dead mouse, both of which were picked up and examined closely.  She is good at this, especially as last weekend she found an injured sheep and reported it - some dog savagery apparently.

Now, for weeks (except for last week), we've hardly encountered cowage, but this week, knowing Chris was with us, they decided to re-group and let us know they were there.  Lots of mooing and cooing, especially to the 3 bulls in the area, wearing their bling, and showing us their 13"

Honeybush Farm, Honeywood House, which formed a V sign on our map - kindly demonstrated by Sue, and we came to Rowhook and the Chequers Inn, which we shall visit on another day.  We headed for home, and got a lick on, to be back in time for lunch.  We journeyed through clagginess, fields of pheasants and mushrooms, and made it with 1/2 hour to spare.  Covered in mud, but quickly changed, and we were in the bosom* of the pub.  Our very congenial landlord welcomed us in and informed us it was curry week - so most of us ordered a pie.  Windy's fish and chips was Dorset-sized, and Farty's shepherd's pie was full, with a fluffy top.  Sue professed she preferred cottaging (pies-wise) - so we left it at that.

 Next week we shall be somewhat depleted as Farty and T.B are also off to French France, but we shall meet up and amble - what about Dunnings cos that is nearer for the Southern branch of our wonderful group.?  Allez-vous mes amis    xxx

Earlswood - The Joshua Tree

Tuesday 2nd October

No Room At The Inn

Walkers:  Farty, T.B., Windy, 2 Legs, Lil and Clat.  Chris out on manoeuvres but still no broadband

Distance: 7 Miles
Find:  zilch

The start of our walk was messed-up at little 'cos L and C couldn't get parked.  Despite a bit of kerb-crawling, and some guidance over yellow lines by T.B., the pair gave up and headed towards Earlswood Lakes, and waited in readiness for the rest of the gang to turn up, inhaling the heady scent of bacon cooking in the refreshment van.
It wasn't long before they did, and we were soon on our way, through fields, some lovely wooded areas, and alongside rivers and streams, with a large number of pillbox buildings dotted about.  Clat was a little pre-occupied at first, due to a troubled night's sleep.  This was put down to some late-night viewing, by accident, on some channel or other, of a 13" doo dah and other bodily 'extremes'.   Time to make a change to our usual route then.  We headed towards Irons Bottom, and met a rather large dog on the way.  Turns out he was an Ibiza hound,  he is quite rare in these parts - and doesn't go clubbing.  The owner told us the pub at I.B. was pretty good, so we made a note to visit it another time.

The weather was up to its usual mischief today, and we encountered the odd splodge of rain, but nothing like last week's deluge for the poor unfortunates.  Navigation today was excellent - you could tell it was nothing to do with Clat. We formed a circular shape - i.e. mapwise,  and traversed more fields (some of which had suffered from severe flooding, judging by the flotsam on the fencing), woods, and the  railway line.  Here, the trains whizz past both ways, and you have to look smart and get across quickly.  This we did, but the trains didn't like us hovering at the edge and neeee-naaad at us a bit.  We progress.  Our next encounter was a field - nothing odd about that you might think, but, it was choc-full of black cows, calves,  bullocks and other menaces.  As soon as they saw us the bellowing started (reckon Chris would've been in Brighton, if she'd seen that lot). All hell broke hoofs as  they headed towards us, and the din was alarmingly loud and threatening - like a scene from Rawhide/High Chapparal /Bonanza -'walk in here if you dare' was the message - so we didn't.  We diverted along a track, still hearing the noise in the distance - like ships lost in the fog.
 The rest of the walk was quite urban, which gave our boots a chance to dry off.  L and C broke away to get the car, and we met up again at the pub.  The landlord was very helpful and soon shifted us to another table, because he had big plates and our table was pronounced too small.  T.B ordered a two-course meal, which delayed the main course of the others.  So when his 'first' appeared , he was urged to 'get on with it', and he kindly obliged - Remegel anyone?  Some good grub was served and T.B. announced that our previous blog was full - no more room at the inn again.  We are now on our second RAHRAS, and thanks to our glorious editor (as they would say in China), we can function again. The group  photograph has been updated, and I've had my roots done - streuth.  Our conversation was topical, and reference was made to Ed Balls and the playing of his organ - here we go again.  Farty balanced a spoon on her nose, and we asked for the bill - get it, nose and bill - I'm wasted here!!

Next week's venue is in debate, and if anyone out there fancies a destination then please say so.  It could be a toss-up between Warnham and Tandridge, as Farty has a hankering to go East. Of course we shall let you know - once she's got the spoon off.  xxxxx