Venue: London Bridge station - circular via Bermondsey, Rotherhithe, Wapping and the Tower of London
Walkers: Farty, TB, Windy Nohills & Mrs P
Distance: about 10k/6 miles
Time taken: about 3 hours plus 2 pub stops
Weather: A bit of dampness to start then clear, some blue sky and great visibility. Quite cold by the river.
We decided that due to the almost impossible walking conditions anywhere in the countryside, an urban walk was called for so we convened at London Bridge for a complete change of scenery. Miss Nohills and Mrs P boarded the Uckfield Express with great excitement and arrived in the seething metropolis bang on time where M & M were waiting for us. The provincial walkers set the tone for the rest of the day by acting just like tourists or more like retards from the back of beyond who had never seen such wonders in their lives - hence the first OOOHs & AAAAHs as we left the station and saw the splendour that is the Shard! I think M & M were somewhat amused by our childlike excitement - or at least if they were embarrassed, they hid it well!
Farty had researched a brilliant walk so after the Shard we headed off to Bermondsey. We first walked through what used to be the old tanners quarter with road names reflecting its history: Tanner Street, Morocco Street, Tyers Gate - it's now suitably trendy with interesting shops, small exhibitions, reclamation yards and antiques. We tried not to get sidetracked .... Luckily the antiques market wasn't on that day as we would never have got any further .....
We caught a wonderful whiff of hops from the brewery but decided that it was far too early in the walk to stop for refreshments - so onwards we went, back towards the Thames Path. Suddenly there was a cry from Miss Nohills - somehow in the middle of all this urban-ness she had managed to find some mud! Disaster! We just stopped her from high-tailing it back to London Bridge to wait for the arrival of the next Uckfield Express back to Provincial-land - and managed to distract her by a timely 'muesli bar' stop!
More ooohs and aaaahs as we passed restored and converted warehouses - there are so many of them which is wonderful to see. The large swing hooks on the upper stories which used to load goods onto the top floors are still there, and some still have the bridges which connected one warehouse to another. Nowadays all full of yuppy loft-style apartment dwellers no doubt.
The only unpleasant incident in a lovely day was almost being taken out by a cyclist on the Thames Path - are we meant to have eyes in the back of our heads? Clearly a dinging of his bell & we were meant to dive for cover as he hurtled through. TB left him in no doubt as to what we thought of him (good man!) and he replied with a very charming wave of a digit. Moron!
So much to report on - beautiful houseboat gardens, Edward III's moated manor, stunning views of the Tower of London, The Big Sewer project (best avoided!), Dr Alfred Salter's stolen statue (for scrap metal, what b.....ds), flocks of goldfinches on bird feeders, lovely houses ..... and best of all it was so quiet - we hardly saw a soul, it was as if we had the place to ourselves. We stopped at a couple of churches, St Mary Magdalen Bermondsey and St Mary's Church, Rotherhithe. There is a plaque on the side of the latter marking the sailing of the Mayflower (and a pub just over the road) - none of us knew that it departed from here on it's historical voyage. We decided to go inside for a little look and noticed another plaque with the name of a Robert Shafto Hawkes - so as we left the church, cue a rendition of Bobby Shafto - oh dear, just as well there weren't many people around, they were probably all disappearing fast in the opposite direction.
We arrived at the Brunel museum and Rotherhithe station where we caught the Overground to Wapping. The train goes through the Thames tunnel which was built by Brunel and his father - http://
www.brunel-museum.org.uk/ - another piece of quite amazing engineering. (Sadly it's not visible as you travel through it). Apparently Isambard was working in the tunnel when a there was a massive leak - 6 men died and he was incredibly lucky to escape alive. He was shipped out to Bristol where he heard of a local competition to design a Severn crossing - and the rest as they say is history.
So we arrived at the north bank and continued along the Thames path. Having resisted all the pubs on the way so far, we gave in and stopped at the Capt Kidd. Great choice, a lovely pub overlooking the Thames, non-gastro and full of locals - all the tourists head further east to the Prospect of Whitby. After a swift half and 'comfort break' we continued on, past yet again more lovely houses, warehouses, history, history and .... pubs! We had a quick look (no, we didn't go in, promise) at the Town of Ramsgate which claims to be the oldest pub on the Thames. A rather gruesome history - we walked down the steps to the shoreline where there is still an iron ring and chain half way up the wall. Apparently they used to tie the pirates to the chains and wait for the tide to come it - they let it come in 3 times just to make sure they were dead. Mind you, if we used it these days for those damn metal thieves .....
We passed Wapping Pierhead conservation area which was the old lock entrance to the docks. It's now filled in but the beautiful Georgian houses remain - including a house numbered no 4 1/2 ! Obviously they didn't go in for 4a in those days! Onwards to St Katherine's dock and lunch at the Dickens Inn. There were a number of floating gin palaces in dock - very ostentatious we felt but Del Boy would have been impressed! Lunch was yummy, fish and chips all round, so we departed suitably warm and replete.
Next stop was the Tower of London and London Bridge where sadly we caught up with the rest of the world and in particular tourists. Damn tourists, why can't they all stay put in the Provinces?! A quick gander at M & M's favourite restaurant by the Tower, then we walked over the bridge and back to the South Bank. Unbelievably there were some geraniums in full bloom on the bridge - they must have a micro climate here!
As we passed City Hall (Boris's gaff) we decided we had time for a little look. In past security, bags x-rayed and up in the lift to the viewing deck on one of the upper floors. The room seemed to be set up for some sort of reception but we continued through the doors to the outside - only to be accosted by a security chappie who told us in no uncertain terms that we weren't allowed to be there. He must have wondered what we had in our backpacks! Water and muesli bars, that's all! Hardly Al Qaeda!
Suitably chastened and ejected we carried on towards London Bridge, arriving early for the Uckfield Express departure. So time for a quick coffee in All Bar One - how lovely, our drinks came with shots of Smarties! - and just in time for the train. Farty and TB very kindly joined us as far as East Croydon where we took our leave, then the Express stopped at every single station all the way back to Uckfield. As you do (or it does)
We decided that it really had been a brilliant day, so different, interesting and great fun. Urban walks were declared a winner! so we will try to plan some more, possibly Tunbridge Wells and Lewes. Miss Nohills and Mrs P would love another London walk but first need to recover from the excitement of a day in The Big Smoke! We're still lying down in a darkened room to recuperate!
London from Eridge. According to Google it seems he was hungover and
stopped to have a slurp from the murky water and immediately felt better.
We could have done with some of this stuff when we were flying, instead of
using up all the emergency oxygen bottles. Things really took off from
there, and soon people were flocking to the area to take the waters. 15
pints(?) a day could cure all manner of ailments-tedious agues (I get these in
Tesco), cirrhosis, scurvy, gonorrhea, and hysteria. Who wouldn't be hysterical
suffering from that lot. Through the lovely georgian Pantiles, complete
with Victorian post box. and on to the Spa Valley Railway, part of the original
line to Brighton and Eastbourne until Beeching...we won't go there, always sets
us off. TB's eyes lit up. Unfortunately it's not up and running
until Mother's day, but we had a nose round. The old station is an impressive
building, but unfortunately is part of the Smith and Western pub chain which
took the edge off it's grandeur. "Did you know you can get a train
form here to Uckfield?" asked Farty. Mrs P and I looked nervously
down at our shuffling feet and had to admit we didn't, Farty rolled her
eyes. There were several occasions today when we were asked what we knew
about local landmarks, and we were ashamed to say not a lot, due to heading
straight to M&S and Fenwicks. Shocking.
We headed up across the common and
ended up on a road with very imposing large houses, all turrets and big
chimneys. Time for a drink and an ogle. TB's new phone suddenly chimed
- sounded like the bells of Westminster Abbey. "Who was that?"
asked Farty. "It was the market research people" he
replied, "they wondered if I'd be interested in doing a survey
regarding....." "missing foreskins?" asked Farty.
"No" TB replied wearily, "heart complaints". Poor
bloke, this really was becoming a sore point. (Sorry TB, no more!)
We suddenly noticed a patch of blue sky and were so shocked that TB had to take
a snap. A rare sight these days. Apparently the Daily Mail says
we're in for a scorching summer. We won't hold our breath, but prepare
for hosepipe bans. 
We came to a farm chock full of chickens, turkeys,
geese, donkeys and a furry goat. Farty screeched to a halt. She
couldn't resist and Dr Doolittle-style talked turkey to the turkeys.
Apparently they were very well, and relieved Christmas was over. Onward
through Rusthall common and through an extremely posh housing estate with
Southfork style houses. 
We high-tailed it out of there, and
moved on to the Mount Edgcumbe pub, which was much more us, good food ,
ambiance, no cauli heads, but no £12 deals. Get what you pay for.
Just time for a coffee at the old opera house, now a Wetherspoons - they get
everywhere - where we had a truly dire coffee and hot chocolate. Still,
what do you expect for £1.15? Sue and Chris would have been
appalled. We were causing quite a stir as we were the only customers
admiring the architecture and decor, and taking photos. 
