Warnham - The Sussex Oak

The Nutcracker Suite

Tuesday 11th December

Walkers:  Farty, T.B., 2 Legs, Windy, Mrs P., Lil and Clat.  Sally came for lunch, complete with matchsticks and copious amounts of coffee - well done, on staying awake for us, after working all night back from Buenos Aires - ole.  Chris unable to make it, due hospital appts.
 Distance: meant to be about 7 miles but it went on a bit, due to what you are going to read about.
Find: our way round the map properly would have helped.
Well, after weeks of no walking as such, due to bad weather and other things going on, we decided to give December a miss.  However, due to popular demand, we re-instated  one for today - with un-popular repercussions - read on.
The weather was crisp , cold and bright - a little muddy underfoot, but then everywhere was the same.  We got going a little late, due to roadworks all over the place, and headed off into the countryside.  All went well, and the usual , familiar paths were followed.  We had a break (thks again Mrs P - you and your Aga are a dream), and confident we were going the right way- we headed into the sunshine - wrong.  A left turn was missed - it happens, but today we needed to be back for our 1.30 table, and rendezvous with Sally. 

Then the pantomime started - Clat stumbled, then tripped on her stick and went bumpety-bump on to tarmac - a bit hard - and was told to stay there, laying on her side.  Being surrounded by airline medical -trained birds is a good thing - they know what to do.  There was a bit of blood, grazing, and a large bump on the temple - soon reduced by Farty's metal water bottle.  (The bruising came out days later with black and yellow eyes and other parts - very attractive. )  Lil thought the noise was Clat stomping her feet, and turned to come and help, and in the process she lost her balance and was also on the ground - what a toodooo.   From now on Clat could blame everything on concussion, so Farty took over, and we seemed to go a bit wrong later on as well - time is ticking on - can you feel the pressure??
A little later on it was Farty's turn to tumble - and she slid gracefully into the wet and muddy ground and was turned a different colour.  Absolutely soaked and caked in mud in her nether regions, and down,  she soldiered on - time was ticking again.  A little later ,  Clat asked Farty if she knew where T.B. was - a 'phone call then alerted us to the fact that he was lost, and, Farty had lost - her glasses - oh no she didn't - oh yes she did.  We remembered last seeing T.B. taking a call in the bushes about some inks for his printer, and he had taken the wrong path afterwards - oh heck, it's all going wrong!!!

Clat (who had concussion don't forget) was then left to direct the rest of the route, whilst Farty went back to do her retrievals.  Sending two of her party into the deer park , Clat realised we were totally in the wrong place, and gathered her herd once more, and decided to road-walk the rest of the way to get back to the pub - before food service ended.  The roads were very icy and slippery, so it was a wonder that no more fallings took place. 
We hurried to the pub, changed our boots, and as we entered, we heard the landlord shouting through to the kitchen that we had finally arrived - 45 mins late, and Sally about to put her pyjamas on.
Farty and T.B also hurried, and by the skin of the kitchen-staff teeth, we ordered, and received our lovely lunches and wound down.  We ate chocs provided by Sally - thank you - and decided that never again shall we re-instate a walk.

However, we shall be organised for the new year, and we shall re-commence our activities on Tuesday 8th January, at the Dukes Head , Walton - in the meantime  WE WISH YOU A VERY HAPPY CHRISTMAS, AND A HEALTHY, FALL-FREE NEW YEAR!!!

p.s. ice packs have now been purchased and will be carried on all walks.