The Diamond - Holland

Tuesday 15th January

Fifty Shades of Mud
Walkers:  Farty, T.B., Windy, Clat and Lil.  No 4 Legs due to sorting Mum out, and no Mrs P as her roots are beckoning.  Polly's Mike is hopefully improving.

Find of the Walk:  a lovely pink bath, nestled in the woods, and a vase which Lil carefully arranged on a fence post.

Miles:  5 1/2 - and that took nearly 3 hours due to the very heavy-going in thick, wet , cloying mud.

A very cold day today - we assembled and awaited Wind - we rang her - 'I'm hopelessly lost' she said.  In fact, she was hopelessly lost in a road right by the pub - it happens, and apparently she had nearly driven to Belgium in her quest which shows her determination.    Our diamond geezer was knocking about and shook his head when we told him we were walking.  We set off and within minutes, a bramble had lashed out and felled T.B.  Oh dear what a mess he was in - mud everywhere and it caused seepage to his parts too.  Should he go back and wait by the roaring fire in the pub or should he continue?  He did the latter of course, and we crossed the railway line, got a wave from a train driver, and headed through some surreal woods, full of household items,  and shacks, on our northwards journey. A wee communication error here when Windy uttered the words quick Sand - so Sand quickened, but the word was quicksand which meant the ground was sinking and that meant Sand hadn't quickened at all.

A Wendy House!

Windy was trying out her new 3/4 length waterproof - very smart and getting merrily splashed with mud as we all were. Unfortunately, Farty wasn't so lucky, acquiring a Tayberry hedge tear on her sleeve.  We kept going onwards and upwards, passing a sheep with a very weird bleat, and came to our summit.  Not quite the very top, but time had to be kept - the pub stops food at 2.  A quick break, in many ways, as Lil was trying to emerge from her rucsack and needed assistance.  Time to move on.  Very soon we came to Windy's Wendy House, with magnificent views - lucky girl.  We passed big old Caxton House and a downwards trajectory (get that). Caxton House was constructed in the early 1900s as a convalescent home for the printing trade and was converted into individual apartments in the late 1960s. We got a little lost in a farm which was covered in signs saying 'no path' but none saying 'path' , but we found our way in the end - honestly, what is it with these folks?  Farty helped herself to the large amounts of sheeps wool on the fences which apparently is good for keeping El Slugo (after all they are Spanish) away from her hostas - this in not a euphemism.

A fair bit of lane-walking followed which was good for cleaning boots and speeding-up a bit.  A right turn took us into a field, with an electric fence to cross - after all this is the steeplechase season.  All was going well until Farty failed in this mission and toppled into the mud.  Clat was of no help at all as she was doubled-up with laughter, trying hard not to be put on the incontinent plan. Windy, who was trying to help, thoughtfully trod on Farty's glasses which were then buried in the mud.  What are we like?  Normal? service resumed.

The Diamond

So by now, we had Sherpa Tensing and Nanook of the North in our group - in various degrees of mud and wetness - and in serious need of a bath - but not the pink one in the woods. Thankfully we made it back to the pub in one piece and soon got sorted and sat - towels were used for the two members of the Turkish mud-wrestling team.  A very warm welcome, excellent food, and delicious prices - we shall come again.  Diamond geezer came and chatted to us, and the whole ambulance was good.
A BIG THANK YOU to T.B. for our lovely calendars - his masterpiece appears in September and was taken on a walk in Leigh.  Those missing will get theirs next week, once we have sorted our walk venue, so until then we wish you a warm, mud-free week.

Sally's Birthday Lunch: Little Bay, Croydon

The Duke's Head - Walton the Heath

Tuesday  8th January 2013

Are We Organised? - Of Course Not!!!!

Walkers: Farty,T.B, 4 Legs, Windy, Lil and Clat,  Sally unable to make it.
Trish neither - she has been with Polly Possibly.  P.P.'s husband is very poorly - and we all send our love, thoughts and best wishes.

Distance:  6 3/4  miles - nearly 7 and not quite 8
Find:  a golf ball with its guts ripped out, and a plug-in light, but it didn't work in T.B.'s ear - don't ask.

Well, a Happy New Year to one and all and please do a lot of carpe dieming as we really don't know what's round the corner, do we?
Our first walk of 2013 and funnily enough we chose this same venue for our first walk last year.  We set off at 1030 as planned - good, cos prior to our meet-time,  Farty and T.B. were being seen-to by Simon the plumber's son, and I think the words cock and stop were mentioned.  Hey ho, there's mud to be encountered and we certainly found plenty of that.
Over the common area (dahling) and to the Blue Ball pub which has been boarded-up - strange, as it had recently been re-furbished and seemed to be doing well, but what do we know? Our journey continued past the duck pond and onwards from the Bell p.h. before entering the woods - gossiping merrily on our way, which is usually why we get mislaid or lost sometimes.

We eventually arrived in Headley and to the Cock stop pub (see what I did there?).  It was open, we sat outside and had coffees in paper cups.  The loos were hazardous due to men working on them - not a nice smell and no cold water, so a hot flush was well out of the question.  Just before this, though, we mislaid T.B. again and he was seen heading off in the wrong direction, and had to be shouted at - all was not lost and he returned to the fold.

Refreshments over, we headed back to Headley church and came across a large gathering of ramblers munching on b-ramble jelly sandwiches and the such-like.   This is when we were asked if we were organised and of course we gave them the negative reply.  Loads of them to behold and at first we wondered if they were coming to a ramblers funeral or should i say a ramblers rest?  A few minutes later we came across another herd of them and quickly got out of their way - just imagine it, a convergence of two rambling groups at once?  and with us in the mix, it would have caused total confusion - we scrambled and got away.

We headed eastwards towards Headley Heath, and turned-off ready to go under the M25 but first a field of frisky horses had to be dealt with.  As it happens they were very friendly and nuzzly - but soon left us alone when they realised we had no food. Onwards, downwards, underneathwards, and upwards again, and we were in the village of Walton on the something or other.  We now did a bit of urban alley-way walking, noting how crammed-in some of the properties were, but Spring is definitely in the air, and the sound of birdsong was very welcome.  The bulbs are pushing through, and so were we.

Eventually we were back at our hostelry and received the usual right-royal welcome from Wendy, the landlady.  The food and service were the same high standard, and we agreed that we need to meet here more often, considering how many of our other usual haunts have gone down in our estimations.

However, next week, we are going to Holland, to meet at the Diamond and to meet the geezer properly this time.  Danku velt and watch your tulips xxxxx