RAHRAS 2: December 2013

Thursday, 19 December 2013

Never Never Land - The Aladdin's Lamp

Tuesday 17th December

The Walk That Never Was

Virtual Walkers: Farty, T.B., 8 Legs, Windy, Mrs P., Sally, Lil, Clat, George Clooney, Omar Sharif, Robert de Niro, Miss World (for t.b.), Dougal (from magic roundabout for Minnie).

Distance: 10 miles
Find of the Walk: a crock of gold

We were all on time, in our pristine Berghaus outfits et al. Clat had her new walking boots - Brashers, which she thinks could be Australian, in 'Brasher yourself Sheila' - we all looked fab. Off we went , along a perfectly dry footpath in the middle of all the wet and the mud. We noted cyclamen, snowdrops, winter cactus, forsythia, all in full bloom and smelling fragrant. The sun was shining, but not too hot so we didn't have to remove anything.
The route took us towards a tinkling river, and that of course meant a bit of relief had to be taken. In the undergrowth we discovered a spotlessly clean lavatory, with heated seat, flushing water, and the softest loo roll that there has ever been. A fairy attendant (not a gay guy on board sort),magically appeared, with cleansing cloths, warm towels and lip balm, and we were soon on our way. We climbed to a height of Ben Nevis, taking in the wonderful landscape of castles, reindeer, snow, sleigh bells and a glimpse of something red flitting through the sky, saying ho ho ho.

Over the rainbow we stopped at an inviting Starbucks, offering free coffees and refreshments, and took our fill. We carried on, through a glacier, not slipping once, and Minnie discovered this part of the trail was littered with dog chews and jewel-encrusted collars. We vaulted stiles, and marveled at how we had all won the lottery the week before. The snow began to fall, but somehow none of us got wet, and soon it was time to head for home and the pub. On our return, we discovered that our boots didn't have a mark on them, and our clothes were clean and dry. Into the pub we went, and were told that all the computers were down, and all food and drink was on the house. After some real cordon-bleu cooking, washed down with premier cru stuff and the bestest of ales, it was time to leave. Our chauffeur-driven cars were waiting for us, to take us home- and back to reality. Have a lovely Christmas everyone !! xxxxx Next walk due on January 7 2014.

Happy New Year. Virtually, Clat xxx

Wednesday, 11 December 2013

Southwater - Bax Castle

Southwater - Bax Castle

Tuesday 10th December

In which we make a spectacle of ourselves. No change there then!

Walkers: Eight legs, Farty, TB, and me. Clat joined us for lunch. She's trying to find a new pair of walking boots with no success. Dan the boot man makes her sound like she's got half her leg turned up, describing her feet as long, thin, and flat. Cheek!

Find of the walk: reading glasses

The day started badly as I'd stopped at the bakery to buy our favourite flapjacks only to be told that they were too hot to cut up. "What!", I shrieked, "What a disaster, are you sure, my friends will be distraught, can you please check again?" The assistant looked nervous at this slight overreaction, but confirmed this was the case. On arriving at the pub I relayed this news. Couldn't you have brought the whole tray, Chris asked. That girl's got an answer for everything. She was suffering today having been bitten on the heel by a bug while in the garden. She was worried it might have been caused by a lethal spider, and kept checking her leg for signs of rising inflammation, or damp. Luckily she made it through the night but I'm not sure wearing flip flops in this weather was a good idea!

the bar at The Bax

This pub is a bit off the beaten track and some of us had gone wrong and overshot the Cock (pub). We've all done it. We got underway and soon found our find of the walk, a pair of reading glasses which some of us tried out. I peered through them at Farty's map and seemed to be reading something about Roy Castle until I realised I was looking at her notes about the pub. They were a bit on the weak side.

We were soon plunged into mud, the claggy stuff. You could throw a pot, said Farty, but we weren't that angry. Yet. We passed a farm and the mud turned to cow slurry. This walk is shitty, I said to Farty. She looked offended. I only meant underfoot. A lot of the pathways had been churned up by horses, and we decided that they really shouldn't be allowed on bridleways. At this point we'd gone off track a bit and TB's compass was playing up, probably due to our magnetic personalities, but Farty got it sorted and we were on our way again. The next obstacle was a field containing a horse wearing a balaclava. (Honestly). This sort of thing is always a worry for Sue and Chris. Who could forget the Dorset stampede? We scuttled through and threw ourselves over the stile at the other side of the field. The horse looked at us disdainfully. We reached a crossroad where bizarrely a Bill and Ben scenario had been arranged. As you do. There was no sign of Little

Weed, but I seem to remember she spent a lot of time in the potting shed with the gardener.

We were musing about the great and the good who were attending Nelson Mandela's funeral. All are there except the Queen. Apparently she's gone on to shorthaul, and Charle's is doing longhaul, but not back to backs. We're full of admiration at how the Queen places a wreath at the cenotaph and walks backwards down the steps. If it was our mothers there'd be carnage. They can't even walk forwards, and the wreath would fly through the air ending up round Philip's neck. Lots of signs today warning that no dumping was allowed, so we resisted the urge.

Nearly there now, and we found ourselves on a disused rail track, which was a relief after all the mud. We got back to the pub and quickly peeled off muddy boots and gaiters and legged it into the pub to be greeted by signs saying "Deadline for complaints was yesterday" and "No specials due Xmas", but a very nice young man gave us a warm welcome - cue kittenish behaviour by some of us (TB), and we were soon ensconced at a table. No sooner had we got settled than Sue and Chris announced that they were slowly cooking due to warm air vents under their banquette. Nothing worse. Sue had to move. After much huffing and puffing two charming gentlemen at the next table kindly offered to move so we could sit together and avoid the vents. We thanked them and said we'd tried this ploy before, and it worked every time.

Minnie had her glam/military look in her combat jacket, but Sue changed her for lunch into a festive number, and back to combat later on. Minnie had a bit of a growl at this. You could almost hear her thinking "I may look like Naomi Campbell, but I'm not a piece of meat you know" Sue said she'd got a bit grumpy as she'd got older, and so had Minnie. We're all sweetness and light of course, especially at this time of year in Tesco. A man entered the pub with two gorgeous black labradors. They were beautifully behaved and obeyed the owner's every command - gestures only. This was all too much for Minnie, they were showing off, making her feel quite queasy. She'd already had a nauseous moment earlier, fortunately before the food arrived. Speaking of which, the food was great. Fish pie, steak pie, channel cod......a rather off-putting description, making you think of pollution and shipping lanes, but it was delicious.

Time for TB to regale us with snippets from the health pages of the Daily Mail informing us of the many diseases we may contract. One story concerned someone with a permanently runny nose. "Nasal drip", said Farty. Don't take that tone with me! Apparently it's due to a permanently damp vestibule......some of us have that problem, and it's not necessarily in the nasal area.

Just time to admire Farty's new Peruvian-style hat, which goes beautifully with her middle-east style scarf. Very multi-cultural. You can tell she's from Carshalton.

See you next week for probably the last walk of the year. Where did that year go?

TTFN, love Wendxx

Tuesday, 3 December 2013

45 Lessons Life Taught Me: Regina Brett

To celebrate growing older, I once wrote the 45 lessons life taught me.
It is the most-requested column I've ever written. My odometer rolls over to 90 this week, so here's an update:
1. Life isn't fair, but it's still good.
2. When in doubt, just take the next small step.
3. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.
4. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.
5. Pay off your credit cards every month.
6. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.
7. Cry with someone. It's more healing than crying alone.
8. It's OK to get angry with God. He can take it.
9. Save for retirement starting with your first paycheck.
10. When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.
11. Make peace with your past so it won't screw up the present.
12. It's OK to let your children see you cry.
13. Don't compare your life to others'. You have no idea what their journey is all about.
14. If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn't be in it.
15. Everything can change in the blink of an eye. But don't worry; God never blinks.
16. Life is too short for long pity parties. Get busy living, or get busy dying.
17. You can get through anything if you stay put in today.
18. A writer writes. If you want to be a writer, write.
19. It's never too late to have a happy childhood. But the second one is up to you and no one else.
20. When it comes to going after what you love in life, don't take no for an answer.
21. Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear the fancy lingerie. Don't save it for a special occasion. Today is special.
22. Over prepare, then go with the flow.
23. Be eccentric now. Don't wait for old age to wear purple.
24. The most important sex organ is the brain.
25. No one is in charge of your happiness except you.
26. Frame every so-called disaster with these words: "In five years, will this matter?"
27. Always choose life.
28. Forgive everyone everything.
29. What other people think of you is none of your business.
30. Time heals almost everything. Give time time.
31. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.
32. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends will. Stay in touch.
33. Believe in miracles.
34. God loves you because of who God is, not because of anything you did or didn't do.
35. Whatever doesn't kill you really does make you stronger.
36. Growing old beats the alternative - dying young.
37. Your children get only one childhood. Make it memorable.
38. Read the Psalms. They cover every human emotion.
39. Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere.
40. If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else's, we'd grab ours back.
41. Don't audit life. Show up and make the most of it now.
42. Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful.
43. All that truly matters in the end is that you loved.
44. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.
45. The best is yet to come.
46. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.
47. Take a deep breath. It calms the mind.
48. If you don't ask, you don't get.
49. Yield.
50. Life isn't tied with a bow, but it's still a gift.

The author of this list is Regina Brett - a Cleveland writer/author/blogger who started writing down her list of 45 lessons life taught her when she was forty-five. However, she added more to it until it now becomes 50. When it first circulated around the web – some people were re-branding this article as “Written by Regina Brett, 90 years old”. In fact, there were over 400 entries on google search that she was a good-looking 90 years old! The truth is, she is only in her fifties and is passionate about many things including her family!

Written by Regina Brett, 90 years old, of The Plain Dealer, Cleveland, Ohio

"To celebrate growing older, I once wrote the 45 lessons life taught me. It is the most-requested column I've ever written.

My odometer rolled over to 90 in August, so here is the column once more:

1. Life isn't fair, but it's still good.

2. When in doubt, just take the next small step.

3. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.

4. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends and parents will. Stay in touch.

5. Pay off your credit cards every month.

6. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.

7. Cry with someone. It's more healing than crying alone.

8. It's OK to get angry.

9. Save for retirement starting with your first paycheck.

10. When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.

11. Make peace with your past so it won't screw up the present.

12. It's OK to let your children see you cry.

13. Don't compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about.

14. If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn't be in it.

15. Everything can change in the blink of an eye. But don't worry; God never blinks.

16. Take a deep breath. It calms the mind.

17. Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful.

18. Whatever doesn't kill you really does make you stronger.

19. It's never too late to have a happy childhood. But the second one is up to you and no one else.

20. When it comes to going after what you love in life, don't take no for an answer.

21. Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear the fancy lingerie. Don't save it for a special occasion. Today is special.

22. Over prepare, then go with the flow.

23. Be eccentric now. Don't wait for old age to wear purple.

24. The most important sex organ is the brain.

25. No one is in charge of your happiness but you.

26. Frame every so-called disaster with these words 'In five years, will this matter?'

27. Always choose life.

28. Forgive everyone everything.

29. What other people think of you is none of your business.

30. Time heals almost everything. Give time some time.

31. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.

32. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.

33. Believe in miracles.

34. God loves you because of who God is, not because of anything you did or didn't do.

35. Don't audit life. Show up and make the most of it now.

36. Growing old beats the alternative — dying young.

37. Your children get only one childhood.

38. All that truly matters in the end is that you loved.

39. Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere.

40. If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else's, we'd grab ours back.

41. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.

42. The best is yet to come.

43. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.

44. Yield.

45. Life isn't tied with a bow, but it's still a gift.

Its estimated 93% won't forward this. If you are one of the 7% who will, forward this with the title '7%'.

I'm in the 7%

Remember that I will always share my spoon with you!
Friends are the family that we choose for ourselves!

Reigate Hill - The Sportsman

Tuesday 3 December

The Reigate Unhill Walk
Walkers: Farty, T.B., 8 Legs, Lil and Clat. Sadly, no Windy as she wasn;t feeling much like it, and this coldness makes her eyes watery - so be it - I shall lend her my swimming goggles for next week.

Find of the Walk: a purple and mauve stretchy bracelet.
Distance: 7.5 miles

Gloria Martin's Love Child?

A miserable grey day, with a November damp rawness trying to get into the bones, but we weren't having any of it. Suspicions were raised as Farty handed Clat a brown substance - turns out to be something called Dukka, which is a mixture of herbs. You dip your bread in oil and then into this concoction and voila - ecstasy - how easy is that? Must contact Anne Summers............. She also produced a photo of Paloma Faith dressed head to toe in the Graham of Monteith tartan - one of the BCAL choices, and reminded us of someone who we used to fly with.
Say no more, but there are some tales to tell there. Let's get going then. Today we cobbled together some linear walks which meant very few hills were involved. Along the North Downs Way to Colley Hill and the rather fetching memorial there. It has a domed roof with a painted ceiling. A lone poppy had been sellotaped to one of the posts in memory of a certain fallen hero - v.c. no less. The belted galloways are still lurking in these parts, and sheep are safely grazing (as the poem goes), in the nearby fort - we had a quick look at this, and declared it quite boring. We kept going - quite a pace to be had, with Sue having to bounce in the bushes to keep going in a different way. We went downwards a little and stopped for a break, to re-arrange T.B., and to view views, which involved quite a few bonfires smoking away. We decided no messages were being sent, and carried on, more uphill this time. Eventually we came to the Pfizer offices, and did a u-turn, and along some new pathways adjacent to the M25. Over the footbridge to the site of the hanging underpants, sadly no longer there. Trekking on, through the golf course, and no sign of Lil's lost 60 balloon either. We stopped at The Sportsman displaying signs telling us Strictly no walking boots - and went in. Gorgeously warm, a perfect table just waiting for us, and 3 big dogs at the one next door. Sue managed to distract Minnie from causing world war 3, as our Min gets very territorial. Funnily enough, out in the bundu, she doesn't have the attitude at all. Our waitress was welcoming and suffering from amnesia. Farty's shiraz was omitted, the two lime/waters came with soda instead, and 'no garlic mayo ple

ase' came smothered in it. Oh well, it was very busy. We sang 'happy birthday' to a man called Dan or was it Dad, but weren't given a slice of the action. Our food was very good- Farty still in fishcake mode, and a good selection of burgers and jacket potatoes to be had. They even had a Roo burger, but none of us fancied doing a Bush Tucker Trial, but, - an improvement on last time. In the loos were printed sheets quoting a certain Regina Brett (90), who wrote 45 Lessons in Life, which gave us food for thought. no 40 seemed quite popular 'if we threw all our problems in a pile and saw everyone else's, we'd grab them back', and no 43. 'no matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up' - so there you go. It was getting dreek as they say in bonnie Scotland, and we had to spray on

the WD40 and get cracking. A bit of retreading on our route and after about 45 mins we got back to base, relieved ourselves, and shoo-ed away the crows trying to sate their rubber fetish by pecking at bumpers and wipers - that's why they bounce around - ha ha ha. Time to go home as they used to say on Andy Pandy - well, all Ted wanted to do was get him or was it a her? into the basket, and who knows what. There's an arctic blast on the way so keep those drawstrings tight. See you next week. xx

Interior of monument