Ashurstwood - Three Crowns

Ashurstwood - Three Crowns

Tues 13th August

Bottoms up.  The famous five go forth (plus Minnie). Title courtesy of Chris.

 

Walkers:Eight legs,Farty,TB,Wind

Distance:6 miles

Find of the walk: A kitchen sink!

We met up at the Three Crowns car park.  Farty and TB were slightly delayed due to roadworks.  No surprise there as most roads are being dug up at the moment.  

We were soon on our way and for once the weather was perfect.  Sunny,a few whispy clouds,not too hot,wet,cold,snowy.  Honestly,we don't ask for much.  All started well until we found ourselves struggling through a bramble infested footpath.  Farty has had a leg lassooed by one of these before,so we trod carefully.  Passing through a rather dilapidated farm we noticed a sturdy woman farmer chopping wood with a rather frightening machine.  We carefully skirted round.  On our return we met her again and Sue and Chris got chatting.  Turns out she used to breed poodles (well not personally) and she and  Sue and Chris had mutual friends in doggy circles.  Small world.  Chris's cow antennae were twitching,and sure enough there was a field full of them. We ran through at full pelt.  You could practically hear the Benny Hill music.  Unfortunately in our haste we had taken completely the wrong turn and had to return to the field,but luckily the cows were busy munching grass,facing away from us bottoms akimbo.

Their best side,muttered Chris.  We passed Stoke Brunswick,14th

Homestall 1938

century former school,made up of The Homestall and 16th century Dutton Hall,a picture of which was in the pub.  Now a wedding venue.  Often the way.  This is very much cow and sheep country.  We don't mind the sheep,despite their constant weeing and pooing - we make them nervous. Two huge baby sheep were feeding from a poor skinny mother.  Farty said she looked like a deflated balloon.  Further on was a magnificent fully equipped horny ram,huge curly things - and his horns.  He was sharing a field with another rather worried looking sheep.  Well he was a big boy.  His owner was attacking mole hills.  Chris showed a keen interest.  We went a bit off track after this and unfortunately ended up in someone's garden,containing a plastic cow with three legs.  My favourite kind,said Chris.  We were searching for a bridge over a stream.  Easy enough you would think.  Wrong!  Fortunately Tonto and the Lone Ranger(Sue and Minnie) used their scouting skills and found it.  The signage wasn't good today.  Homeward bound now,and passing Great Water Farm,we noticed the welcoming sign "Trespassers will be shot,and survivors will be shot again".  We didn't hang about. 

Soon we were back at the pub and TB was ordering a pint of Ameretto.  Eh? Bit sickly we thought, not his usual tipple.  Actually it was Italian Moretti beer.  The menu was huge, with normal menu and specials.  Some hours later,we made our choice.  The young couple behind the bar were very patient, resisting any eye rolling.  The young guy was a particularly cute "young man" and some of us were becoming a bit Kathy Burkish. Ugh!  The food was good,although Chris ordered steak pie which had run out,ordered turkey pie and mash and got chips then the turkey pie ran out and Farty switched to fish pie. Still we liked the toilets, and Sue was impressed with the positioning of the loo roll.  We're easily pleased really!  While we waited for the food, a health and safety bloke was bizarely checking the smoke alarm above our table using a gadget which blew smoke into it.  Don't you just press the red button, Chris wondered?  

Time to give TB the Daily Mail,his favourite paper!  It featured a story about a PC who kept his job despite having sex on duty with a married woman, because he was in control of his weapon at all times due to it being in his holster attached to his trousers which were round his ankles......Here we go.  Cue inevitable ribald remarks.  Cocky sod,cocked weapons, he may have been in control of his magnum,but what about his luger, etc etc. We can't help ourselves.  TB was particularly tickled by this, and so was the married woman.  Chris and I ordered a coffee as it was free for oaps.  (I still can't believe I'm writing this), and they didn't bat an eyelid.  Honestly, how old do we look?!  

Next week's venue could be Ashfold Crossways, Warnham, Bletchingly, or somewhere else.  Watch this space!  Love Wend xx