Staffhurst Wood - The Royal Oak

Tuesday 20 August

Make Hay While The Sun Shines

Walkers:  Farty, T.B. , 8 Legs, Windy, Lil and Clat

Distance: 6.25 miles
Seeing as how Farty has "gazillions of new walks" she wants to try, we find ourselves in this delightful neck of the woods.  A beautiful spot, quiet and rural, and full of walks.  We went clockwise - as they say on the M25, and were straight into peaceful and verdant (get that) woods.  Careful checking throughout this route as we don't want to get lost, and we meandered through some gorgeous countryside, the skies were blue, the sun out, big-time, and the harvesting was at its peak.  In fact we spotted several big bits of farming machinery, andJohn Deere certainly is spread thickly in these parts, which is probably what they will be doing afterwards, as it will soon be silage season - you ought to smell the pong where I live.  Moving on ...
Some of the farmers it seems, like to warn us that there is a bull in the
field, and to lock the gates, thus leaving very high stiles cum fences for us to climb over, and overgrown hedges  to be burst through. We did spot a cluster of cattle in one corner, but if the bull was in with them, he would be too knackered to do anything to us, but the speed with which Chris crosses these fields is worth a gold in anyone's book.  When sheep get bonked, it's called tupping, so this might be the true meaning of Tupperware parties.  Moving on again....
We spent most of our time on the Vanguard Way, which did catch us out once or twice, but due to our careful scrutiny, meant disaster was averted.  We found lots of pretty cottages and smallholdings, one of
which had some delightful pygmy goats and some coffee-coloured sheep ,
a sort of mocha mutton look - ha ha ha ha ha.
This pub shuts up shop at 3pm so we needed to get back pronto - and we did! The menu was not as varied as hoped, and most of us ordered Staffordshire oatcakes which were stuffed .  Quite stodgy and not that digestible either.  However, T.B. deemed his fish and chips as quite perfect, and Farty's steak pudding was fine.  We have decided to start scoring again:  Ambulance - 4, Food -3 (not that much choice, and no salads), Value For Money - 4, Service - 4.

So, that's it until next week - enjoy your bank holidays everyone.