Walkers: Eight legs, Farty, TB , Me.
Distance: 7 miles (some of it at
high speed)
Hips and Hoars/whores. (Tiltle
courtesy of Mon)
Speaking of which, Sue and Chris
were sporting their Dubarry boots (as worn by Pippa Middleton). There was
an article about them recently which mentioned they were named after Madame
Dubarry who was one of Louis XV's mistresses. Sue and Chris said they had
no problem with this, and often strolled around wearing just the boots and a
garter.
Sue, Chris and I had arrived early, and
the smell of bacon butties was wafting through the air, coming from the
butchers. We like a good butcher's shop, and popped in, buying an array
of goodies. The locals must wonder who ate all the pies.
It was a gorgeous sunny autumnal
day, with indeed many hips and hoars. Farty has been busy making apple
jelly using old apples with wrinkled skin and not much flavour. I know
the feeling. Quite muddy today after all the rain, and we slithered
along. Not too much to report today, (well not walkwise - no change
there, I hear you say!), other than lovely views, and a flock of pheasants
being reared for a grisly end, feeding from what looked like Apollo 12.
They flapped off on seeing us, the unpleasant pheasants, but they may have
feared we were pluckers.
It was getting on for 12 o'clock,
and as luck would have it,we came upon The Chequers at Rowhook and felt a
coffee break coming on, which we had sitting in the warm sunshine. TB
told us of the recent challenge from his photo club, asking for pics of unusual shapes. We offered to pose but he declined. Farty mentioned she'd
recently bought a chimney umbrella. I hardly liked to ask.
Apparently, you shove it up your flue, open it up, and it prevents descending
debris. I think it's made by Tena Lady. You have to wonder if
there's something in the water at Carshalton. TB and Farty are recovering
from a martini-fuelled visit by Uncle Martin from Canada, which was a great
success, but they're still feeling a bit liverish. Time to press on, and
soon we were passing Farlington Girls school, where it was break time.
The girls were entranced with Minnie, and rushed over, causing Minnie to
flatten herself to the ground in panic. "My sister and I used to
play hockey here when we were young" said Sue cheerily. The girls
looked uncertain at this news, after all, we were all clearly 98, this must
have been pre-war. The thought of Sue and Chris bullying off in navy
knickers was all too much for the girls and they shuffled off. Strangely
they were wearing kilts with the same tartan that I used to wear at Bcal.
(Hunting Thomson, ye ken), but I didn't mention it as they were still reeling
from Sue's hockey revelations. 
At this point we were panicking as
we were behind schedule and didn't want to miss last orders for lunch.
Perhaps we could break into a trot, ventured Sue and Chris. Honestly,
what's wrong with these girls, I've only just re-set my hip after last
week. At this point we'd lost TB who'd stopped for a lavatree
break. We thought about phoning him, but decided he might not be hands
free. Eventually he emerged, and we took off at high-ish speed with Benny
Hill (TB) bringing uo the rear. We made it with minutes to spare.
The stress! The pub seems to be back on track, and the fish and chips, pies,
and fish pie got 9/10. We were starting to flag, and Minnie(GI Jane),
wearing her combat jacket, was fatigued in her fatigues, so it was time to make
a move.
Farty and TB can't be with us next
week as they're attending a funeral. (Mary, the old lady who could be a
bit "difficult"). Apparently she didn't want a fuss, and there
aren't any undertakers involved, so we're afraid she'll be parcelled up and
delivered to the crematorium by DSL and sent down a chute on to the dais!
We look forward to a report the following week. Mrs. P. is having root
treatment (hair) next week, but Clat and Lil are back from Portsmouth, so there
may be a Clat-led walk hips permitting. Thankyou for providing all the
funnies, if there weren't any I might have to talk about contour lines!
See you soon, Love Wend xx
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